Never Gonna Be Wifey Page 6

  I heard a loud knock on the door, which immediately interrupted my thoughts.

  “Gimme a minute,” I hollered after I hid my gun underneath my mattress. “Come on in.”

  “Hey, baby boy, it’s yo’ mama,” Mom-dukes said as she peeked her head in the door.

  “Hey, Ma, wha a gwaan?”

  “Nothing much. Just wanted to talk to you ’bout school and your future.”

  “School? I’m done wit’ that.”

  “Done? You’re only finished wit’ high school. Now you need to get into college so that you can get an education.”

  “Listen, Ma, no disrespect to you, but a my music mi a pursue right yah now.”

  “Music? You need a freaking education first; then you can talk’bout music.”

  “Nah, that’s wha you want. A nuh dat mi a pree.”

  “Boy, listen, you came here to go to school and get yo’ life in order. I be damn if I’m going to sit around and watch you waste your life. Don’t think your grandma didn’t tell me ’bout you running the streets.”

  “Like mi tell yuh before, I ’ont know what she told you, but fi real, I wasn’t doing shit.”

  “Boy, you better watch yo’ mouth. I know one thing; as long as you live under my roof, you will get a job or go to school.”

  “Ma, a nuh nothin’ to move out. Just cum out an sey it.”

  “You missing the point. I lost yo’ daddy to the streets, and there’s no way I’m going to lose my only child too. The streets don’t love nobody, and these niggas you’re running with are the same ones that will turn on you. You better listen.”

  “So let me get dis right... ’cause Pops messed up his life, so mi affi suffer fi dat? I’m not ’im; I wish you realize dat. All mi life, all mi hear is Alijah this, Alijah dat. Goddamn, mi is not Alijah. Mi a Azir. Go off on me when mi mess up, not off what Alijah did wit’ fi ’im life.”

  I swear I was sick and tired of all these mutha-fuckers using my pop’s shit to throw at me. The fucked-up part is they were not telling the entire story.

  “Azir, baby, I know I haven’t been there like I was supposed to, but I was going through a rough time after your dad passed and me getting shot. I thought leaving you with your grandma was the best thing to do for you.” Tears started to flow down my face.

  “Ma, come here. Don’t do dat. You know mi hate fi see yuh cry. I didn’t mean fi get yuh upset.” I got up and wrapped my arms around her.

  “Ma, mi know yuh love mi and want di best fi mi, but me is no longer a little yute. Mi is a grown man now, and mi ’ave to mek mi own mistake dem.”

  I knew she was hurting, but I had to keep it one hunnit wit’ her. I wasn’t going to college, and I wasn’t gonna lie to make her happy. Hustling was in my blood, and there was no way I was leaving the streets; not now, anyway. Things were finally coming together; I’d linked up with some cats, and we were getting ready to show these li’l hustlers in the A how it’s really done. Top Shotta Posse was getting ready to take over.

  She finally got her tears under control. I took her hands and looked her in the eyes.

  “Aye, Ma, I’m not a little boy no mo’. I want to know what went down with my pops, you, and that other woman.”

  “Azir, what other woman are you talking ’bout?”

  “Ma, come on. That Shayna lady, Pop’s wife.”

  I peeped the surprise on her face. Yeah, I read all that in the papers that my grandma was hiding. I was tired of e’erybody trying to lie to me. Shit, I was grown; trust me, I could handle the truth.

  We sat on the bed together as she took me on a journey of when she and Pops met, along with details about e’erything that went down between them. This was the first time I was getting a clear picture of how important my dad was. I was shocked to know he was a kingpin. By the time she got to the part about getting shot, my blood was boiling. I continued listening so I could get an understanding of how things played out. I felt a tear drop on my arm. This bitch name Shayna not only tried to kill my mom twice, she even threatened my life, set my dad up with the feds, and she was still breathing. I had a few questions, but the main one was, if my pops was such a thoroughbred, why didn’t he body this bitch when he first learned that she was fuckin’ his homeboy? This was one of the reasons why I didn’t trust them bitches. They ain’t loyal.

  “Ma, mi about to head to Atlanta.” I kissed her on the forehead.

  “Please be careful out there in them streets.” She grabbed my arm.

  “Ma, trust me, mi careful.” I smiled and walked off.

  I couldn’t wait to get out of the crib. I locked the front door and jumped into my ride. I pulled a bag of Dro out of my glove compartment and rolled it up. I sat in the driveway and took a few pulls. The minute the ganja hit my brain, it was like it gave me a new life. I no longer felt closed in.

  As I pulled off, I noticed Mom-dukes peeping out of her bedroom window. I wish she’d lighten up a little. After our talk tonight, I had a better understanding, and I could respect her feelings more. It placed a smile on my face, knowing I came from the strong love that they shared. It sounded like the perfect hood story with an unhappy ending.

  Driving down I-20 heading toward Atlanta, all kinds of evil thoughts invaded my mind. That bitch Shayna fucked up my family over some paper. This bitch had to pay for her actions. As a young yute, I vowed to get at whoever crossed my pops. I’d always thought it was a dude, only to find out it was the bitch he married. I didn’t know how it was going down, because the bitch was in prison. I had to think clearly because one false move could seal my fate. Jah knows I couldn’t continue living my life as if nothing happened. The bitch has to be stopped, I thought.

  Chapter Five

  Shayna Jackson

  “Ha-ha,” I busted out laughing while I lay on my bunk. I thought I couldn’t survive one day in prison, but here I was, still breathing. I’d just finished my eighteenth year. I done changed prisons twice, and now I was in Tallahassee FCI. It’s funny how the feds lock you up in one state, then ship your ass all the way over to the other side of the country.

  I lay on the bed contemplating my next move. I damn sure was tired of these lower-class bitches and these fucking guards trying to ruin my life. I mostly hang out at the law library reading up on different cases, or sometimes I might help some of these bitches write up appeal letters. This shit wasn’t free, so best believe that their family members were putting that money into my account.

  It was during one of my researches that my next grand plan slipped in my mind. I almost started laughing, but I looked around and noticed all the nosy bitches were present. I gathered my things and quietly exited the library. A plan like this needed a lot of thorough thinking and had to be executed at the appropriate time.

  * * *

  See, in female prisons, the guards are usually overfriendly, especially if you are a pretty inmate. I’ve had quite a few of them flirt with me or say little nasty things to me. I usually dismiss that shit. I was well aware they were only trying to fuck. Only this time, I had a plan, and this one officer was going to be part of my plan.

  I jumped off my bunk, straightened my gray sweatpants, and sashayed up to the front office.

  “Hey, Officer Gonzalez. How you doing today?” I said in my sexy voice.

  “Well, hello, there, Jackson. I’m doing better now that I’ve laid eyes on a beautiful sister like you.”

  “I’m happy that I could make you feel better,” I replied as I licked my finger and pointed it at him.

  “Jackson, you really shouldn’t play wit’ my emotions like that,” he grinned.

  I glanced at the nosy bitch from D.C. as she walked by; she was trying her best to eavesdrop on our conversation.

  “Thanks for the advice,” I said. Once she was gone, I turned my full attention back to Gonzalez. “Who said I was playing? I see how you look at me with lust in your eyes. Trust me; I know you want some of this high-grade pussy. I haven’t met a nigga yet that could resist this.” I point
ed down to my crotch.

  “You’re one beautiful woman. I can’t help it.”

  “Well, what are we going to do about it, then?”

  “Is that an invitation, Jackson?”

  “Unless you’re too scared to be with a real woman,” I teased.

  “Ha-ha. Me scared? Never.”

  “Well, prove it, then,” I said while staring at his cock, which, by the way, was bulging out of his uniform pants.

  * * *

  After a few days of us playing around with each other, we finally decided to do something about it. I was ready, and I could tell he was also ready to devour this pussy.

  It was a little past 11:00 p.m. I lay on my bunk staring at the ceiling, waiting until after count was done, and the lights were turned off. Then I got off my bunk and grabbed a glove that I got earlier. I stuffed it in my pants pocket; then I walked toward the shower room, which was closed for the night. I got into the last booth, farthest away from the door. There I took off my pajama pants and my underwear. Shit, I was excited that I was about to get fucked. It’s been years since I’ve felt a cock inside of me. I was kind of nervous, but fuck it; I was that bitch. I watched as he stepped into the booth that could barely hold both of us.

  He wasted no time; he started to fondle me. I wasn’t going to lie; the touch of his hand on my pussy sent an electrifying feeling through my entire body. I knew we were pressed for time before another guard entered the unit. I immediately unzipped his pants and took his oversized cock out of his briefs. I turned away from him so that he could slide inside of me from the back.

  He started penetrating me hard; I was under extreme pressure. Maybe it was the fact that my pussy hadn’t gotten fucked in a while. He grabbed me by the back of my neck as he applied more pressure. I tried not to lose focus on why I was in the damn shower fucking this nigga in the first place.

  “Babe, this pussy is so damn good,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Let me suck you off, daddy.”

  He slid his cock out, and I got on my knees. I slowly licked my pussy juice off his cock. I then devoured his thick, oversized, Puerto Rican cock in my mouth. He grabbed my neck and tried to ram the whole thing down my throat. Any other time I’d have snapped; instead, this time, I welcomed his aggressiveness.

  “Oh shit, mami, I’m about to come,” he barely whispered.

  That was my cue to suck harder on his cock. I locked my mouth down on that cock and sucked it like my life depended on it, which, in reality, it really did.

  “Oh oh oh,” he said before he let out his cock juice into my mouth.

  I quickly got up, turned around away from him, pretending as if I was gathering my clothes. In fact, I had other things in mind.

  I watched as he tucked his cock back into his pants, pulled the curtain, and disappeared into the dark hallway. I tied up the glove and put my clothes on, peeped to see if the coast was clear, which it was, then I walked back to my living area, put the gloves inside of my locker, and grabbed my mouthwash. I walked to the sink and rinsed my mouth out twice.

  After that, I walked back quietly, locked my locker, and got into my bed. I was careful not to wake up my bunkie; that nosy bitch that couldn’t hold water. I watched as Officer Gonzalez walked back into the office and closed the door. Then I put my headphones on, thinking of what to do next.

  I got up bright and early, feeling like a brand-new woman with a better outlook on life. I had my counseling session with Doctor Carr. See, this stupid-ass judge decided that after all this shit that happened, I needed mental health counseling. I know I wasn’t fucking crazy or have I ever pretended like I was crazy. I have to admit, though, I love going to these little sessions to toy around with Doctor Carr’s feelings. Today was different, though, Doctor Carr was going to help me set this plan into motion. I had one of the best roles in my life coming up, and I had to be mentally prepared.

  * * *

  “Miss Jackson, how are you feeling today?” Doctor Carr asked.

  “Not feeling well, but I’m hanging in there,” I said, then sat down.

  “Sorry to hear that. We can talk about what you’re feeling and try to see if we can make you feel a little better.”

  “Okay.” I was preparing myself for the grand moment.

  We talked about everything, even about my daddy and me. Doc tried to convince me that Daddy took advantage of me. Fuck what he was saying. Daddy and I had a special bond. I remember the first time Daddy touched my breast; it was special. I felt love, and as time went by, I fell deeper in love with him. He gave me all the attention that I needed. I started to hate Mama; I wished she would move away so Daddy and I could live happily together.

  “Shayna.” This fool interrupted my good thoughts.

  “Yes, sorry. I was in another zone,” I replied with a sad look plastered across my face.

  “What’s bothering you today? You seem to have something heavy on your mind.”

  I busted out crying.

  “I’m sorry! Did I say something wrong?”

  Poor old fool, he’s just like a man, I thought.

  “No, no. It’s just that I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

  “Get who in trouble? Your dad is dead, so it’s too late to prosecute him.”

  “No, not Daddy . . .” I managed to get out, while my crying got louder.

  “Shayna, I’m all ears. Who is this person, and what kind of trouble are you referring to?”

  “If you insist, but you cannot tell this to anyone, Doc. Officer Gonzalez has been forcing me to have sex with him.”

  “Officer Gonzalez? Is that an officer here at the prison?” He looked puzzled.

  “Yes, he works the night shift.”

  “Oh, my. How long has this been going on?”

  “Around three weeks,” I mumbled.

  “Can you tell me about it?” He reached over and took ahold of my hands.

  “He told me if I didn’t have sex with him, he would get me in big trouble.”

  “Do you know what kind of trouble he was referring to?”

  “No. I wasn’t sure. But I’ve heard many stories about officers planting evidence or throwing inmates in lockup for months when they deny sexual advances.”

  I went on to tell him what I needed him to know about what went down between Gonzalez and me. I made sure I emphasized I was an unwilling recipient in this shit.

  “I do not doubt you, but do you have any evidence of what you told me?”

  “No, I can’t . . . I-I don’t want to get him in any trouble; plus, he said if I told anyone, they’re not going to believe me, and I’ll end up doing more time. I don’t want to risk getting life in prison.”

  “Shayna, you’re a victim of sexual assault. He used his power to engage you in sexual activities. It’s considered rape because you’re a federal inmate, and he’s an officer. He abused his power, and this needs to be reported.”

  I started to bawl harder and louder. That was exactly what I needed to hear. Someone that actually believed me and my lies.

  “I know this is hurtful, but do you mind if I share this with the lieutenant? He needs to be punished for what he did. It is confidential when you confide in me, but I can share this with your permission. If you don’t want me to, I understand.”

  “No, I give you my permission. I’m just tired and want it to go away.”

  I watched as he walked out the door, and within five minutes, he returned with Lieutenant Fernandez.

  Here we go, I thought.

  “Miss Jackson, please tell the lieutenant what you told me.”

  I turned around to face the lieutenant. I made sure he could see the pain I was experiencing. I told my story to the very attentive lieutenant. After I finished talking, she accompanied me to my locker to retrieve the glove that I had spit his come in.

  I also made a written statement. After they left, some of the nosy bitches came over to ask me what was going on. I rolled my eyes and walked off. These bitches were not going to fuck
up what I had going on. I walked into the phone booth and dialed my lawyer’s number. I wasn’t a fool; I was well aware that all phone calls were recorded. I told my lawyer about the rape that took place and let him know there was an active case going on. I made sure to let him know I was scared for my life, and I was fearful I might become a target of this officer’s revenge. I needed my lawyer to call the prison and get all the details concerning this case. I was ready to get the fuck up out of here.

  Azir Jackson

  It took me about a year to build a solid empire and make a name for myself in the drug world. Soon as my name started popping, I started to feel the heat from the down South niggas. The niggas were trying their hardest to make us acknowledge them, but we were not trying to fuck with no outside niggas. The fact was they didn’t like outsiders coming in their state and selling shit. They had a bigger problem when it came down to us Jamaicans.

  My entire crew was made up of Kingston cats. Jah T was from Seaview Gardens, Corey and Trevor were from Cockburn Pen. These cats were official top shottas that were willing to bust their guns in a quick second. A few times, I had to tell my niggas to back down, ’cause they were ready to go to war with these Yankee niggas. I learned early on that you can’t beef and make money. Don’t get me wrong; if a nigga violate, he will be dealt with, but that unnecessary beef was in the way of stacking paper.

  We didn’t hustle dime bags; we got right into dealing with kilos of pure white fresh off the boat, getting it into our warehouse that we had out in Norcross.