Never Gonna Be Wifey Read online

  He sat up in bed and turned my face around to him. “Listen, ma, don’t be talkin’ like that. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Furthermore, I don’t ever be out there like that. I stay on the low. Sierra, I fucks wit’ you, shorty. Trust me; I want a life with you.”

  “Yeah, listen, I got to go. I’m opening up the shop today. In order for us to be, you need to leave the streets alone. I want a life of happiness, not burying another nigga or visiting him behind bars.” I got up and walked out.

  I hated to leave on a sour note, but I swear I couldn’t let him think it was all good. I mean, I love these hood niggas, but I didn’t like the way they fucked up their lives.

  I got into my car and drove off. There I was, involved with another street nigga. I had no idea why I couldn’t find me a good working-class nigga or something.

  K. Michelle’s “Can’t Raise a Man” song blasted through my speakers. Fuck being a bottom bitch. Wifey was the position that I wanted. I no longer wanted to be the bitch that was visiting niggas in jail. Back then, I was proud to be Alijah’s bottom bitch. But all that shit got me was a broken heart; I was not gonna sit back and let history repeat itself!

  Azir Jackson

  I was angry that Mom-dukes had that nigga in the house. On some real shit, I felt like my pop’s money bought the house, so no nigga had the right to be up in there. To top it off, this nigga was a fuck nigga. I never forgot a face, and this nigga was familiar. I couldn’t figure it out until my homeboy dragged my memory. I knew the nigga ’cause he was one of the pussyholes that had a problem wit’ us opening shop out here. So imagine the shock when I found out that he was possibly fuckin’ my moms.

  I was tight wit’ her ’cause every fuckin’ day she got up preaching all that holy shit in my ear ’bout staying out of the streets, but look who she fuckin’ wit’. One of the biggest dope boys. On some real nigga shit, that’s why I ’ont be tryin’a hear all that shit she be spittin’.

  On the real, I wanted to kill that nigga, but I was smart to know it wouldn’t be a good move. I ain’t trippin’, though.

  I was up early. First things first. I needed to get my own place. Mom-dukes and I was bumping heads too much, and I was tired of that shit. No disrespect to the woman, but she be trippin’ over nothing on some real nigga shit.

  I called up this real estate bitch that I used to fuck out in Norcross.

  “Mr. Azir, what can I do for you this morning?” Her Trinidadian accent boomed through my phone.

  “Hello, love. I need a huge favor.”

  “And what might that be?” she inquired while laughing.

  “Take your mind out of the gutta, love. I need a two-bedroom condo ASAP.”

  “Cash or mortgage?”

  “You already know what it is. Straight up dollars. I ain’t got no job or credit; you know that.”

  “That’s right. You’re a businessman without proof,” she laughed.

  “Yeah, somethin’ like that, but listen up. I need it ASAP. Like yesterday,” I stressed.

  “Okay, let me see what I can do. Do you have a preferred area?”

  “Uuuum, anywhere in the east, Stone Mountain or Lithonia, preferably.”

  “Alrighty. I’ll get back with you in a few days.”

  “Listen, Shari, hook a nigga up, and I got ten stacks for you outside of your commission.”

  “Alrighty, sweetie.” She hung up.

  Yes, that’s what I was talkin’ ’bout. I was beginning to like the idea of moving out into my own shit. Shit, I’ve been meaning to but was too busy handling some business. Damn, the number of bitches I could fuck without having to worry ’bout Mom-dukes running up in my shit . . . Now that this house shit was handled, I can turn my focus back to other more important shit.

  I went through the trap and dropped some work off.

  “Wha gwaan, brethren?” I dapped Jah T.

  “Mid eh ya fadda. Weh yuh de pon?”

  “Nothin’ much. Droppin’ off work and pickin’ up some paper.”

  “Yeah, it’s been jumpin’ all morning! Yo, brethren, you sound upset when you call askin’ ’bout dat nigga Dwayne. What the fuck going on?”

  “Yo, yuh nah go believe dis. Mi walk inna Mom-duke’s crib, and this pussyclaat sitting down with my moms laughing and talking.”

  “Nah! You lying.”

  “Hell nah! I’m dead-ass.”

  “Yo, yuh moms fuckin’ wit’ yo’ enemy. That’s crazy, yo.”

  “Man, fuck that. Shit ain’t even funny, yo.”

  “Yuh tink ’im kno’ dat’s your madda?”

  “Nah. There’s no way he could’ve known, but fuck if he knew or not. He know now. Yo, I’ll body that nigga and his whole family if he ever hurt a fuckin’ hair on my mom’s head. I’m dead-ass, yo!”

  “I feel you on that. I know you tight ’bout that shit.”

  “Hell yeah, I am; then she put me out behind this bloodclaat nigga.”

  “Damn! She must feelin’ him somethin’ serious to do that.”

  “I ain’t trippin’. I was already gettin’ my own shit. I’m just tight that it’s behind this pussyhole. Yo, on e’erything I love, I’ll body that nigga!” I yelled.

  “Yo, calm down and hit this.” He handed me a spliff.

  I took a few pulls. The ganja romanced my brain. I was hoping it would lower my anger level, but instead, it elevated it.

  “Yo, hold this. I’m out. I’ma holla at you.” I walked out of the trap and jumped in my ride.

  I knew exactly where I was heading. I didn’t give a fuck how it was goin’ to end. I drove down Panola and jumped on I-20. In no time, I was getting off on the Candler Road exit. I knew I was in this nigga’s hood and out of my comfort zone. I had my gun on me, plus two extra clips, just in case some shit popped off. I pulled up at the rims shop that I knew this nigga would be at. I got out of the car and stomped inside.

  “Sir, may I help you?” the bitch behind the counter called out.

  By this time, this pussyhole nigga walked from the back. Our eyes locked like two pit bulls ready to attack.

  “It’s okay, Desiree. He’s here to see me. Excuse us for a second.”

  Desiree shot me a dirty look before disappearing behind the door.

  “Yo, what the fuck you doing coming up in my place of business like this?”

  “Yo, son, fuck that! You straight violated me when yuh entered mi fuckin’ house. So fuck yo’ place of business.”

  “Yo, youngin’, what the fuck you want? ’Cause I’m two seconds away from blowing yo’ fuckin’ brains out all over this concrete.”

  “Yo, B, you ’ont know who the fuck yuh dealing with. Don’t let this young shit fool you. You ’ont watch the news. Young niggas takin’ over. You heard?”

  “Yo, your mom know you here?”

  “I’m grown as fuck, yo; listen, homie, I want you to stay the fuck away from my moms, yo.”

  “Ha-ha! Who the fuck you think you talkin’ to? I’ma fuck that bitch e’ery fuckin’ day that I breathe. Li’l nigga, that pussy some fire for real. Don’t worry, though; I’ll treat that pussy good.”

  I pulled my gun and aimed it at his dome. “Pussyhole, go suck yuh mama. Try me, pussyhole.”

  “Nigga, do it!”

  I straight stared that nigga in his eyes, gritting hard as hell on him.

  “Yeah, I thought so. You a little bitch just like your mom. Only thing is, she got a pussy. Yo, get the fuck outta my shit before that bitch got to visit the morgue tonight.”

  “Ha-ha. I got your nigga, on my pop’s soul.” I took a step closer to him.

  “Yo, fuck yo’ pops. I heard that nigga didn’t know what to do with the pussy, but I got it. I be all through it. All in it,” he laughed.

  I was about to squeeze off when the receptionist bitch walked from behind the doors. I looked up and saw all the cameras from every angle. I wanted to kill that motherfucker, but it wouldn’t be a good move. I decided against it. I knew I could catch this nigga slipping when he least
expected it.

  I lowered my gun and walked out. Then I jumped in my car and sped off. This nigga had just signed his death warrant, and he didn’t even know it.

  * * *

  A few days later, I was at a hotel chilling, counting my paper, thinking ’bout my life and plotting on how to get this nigga Dwayne. I couldn’t eat, shit, or sleep without thinking ’bout this fuck nigga. My cell started ringing, bringing me out of the trance that I was in.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello. I found you a three-bedroom condo out in Conyers. I tried to find a two-bedroom like you asked but had no luck. The price is pretty good, so if you’re interested, I’ll forward these pics over so you can see them; then we can meet up so I can show you the property.”

  “That’s what the fuck I’m talkin’ ’bout. I’m ready to see it when you’re ready.”

  “Okay. Let’s make it for Thursday at 10:00 a.m. I’ll text you the address.”

  “All right, cool. Aye, when you goin’ let me taste that pussy again?”

  “Azir, please. When you stop being a dog. Until then, stay in your lane,” she laughed and hung up.

  Things were finally starting to fall into place for me. I smiled and continued counting my paper. Shit, I was happy that I was finally getting my own crib. Endless fucking and sucking. Everything was good, business was booming, and I was livin’ the life.

  I hadn’t seen Mom-dukes since that shit popped off. My grandma called my phone to talk, which was cool, ’cause Grandma don’t be on that bullshit like Mom-dukes. I was gonna wait ’til she was at work to go pick up my clothes. In the meantime, I took a shower, got dressed, and decided to hit the mall and got me a few outfits, mainly sneakers and drawers. I parked and got out of my ride when my phone started ringing. I looked down and realized it was my nana calling from Jamaica.

  “Oooh,” I said before I pressed answer.

  “Hey, Nana.”

  “Hey, baby. How you doing?”

  “Mi deh yah, a gwaan hold a meds.”

  “You register for school yet?”

  “Nana, come on, mon. Mi tell yuh sey a mi music mi a pree.”

  “Bwoy, yuh need fi get yuh education. Music can follow after. Yuh take all dat money and squander it. Alijah neva put himself inna danger fi mek all dat money fi yuh waste it on foolishness,” she scolded.

  “Nana, chill out. I ain’t wasting his money. I ’ont even spend it. I got my own paper.”

  “Where da hell yuh get money from? You don’t have nuh job. So it’s true; yuh out dere in di streets. Azir, yuh break mi heart. Mi raise yuh betta than dat.”

  “Nana, man, c’mon wit’ all that. Mi nuh know what kind of lies mi madda a call and tell yuh. She just mad because mi nuh waan go nuh school, and mi want do mi own ting. Since she want to tell all dat, did she tell yuh she have man up in a di house?”

  “Azir, yuh too outta order. Regardless of what you feel ’bout you madda, she bring yuh inna dis world. Me and her don’t always see eye-to-eye, but one ting mi know sey; she love yuh wit’ all her heart. Yuh need fi start showing her dat yuh care. Yuh is all she ’ave left. The Bible say ‘Honor your madda and fadda and yuh days will be long.’ Yuh too hardheaded, just like yuh fadda.”

  This was the first time in years that I had ever dropped a single tear. There was something ’bout my nana’s words and the way she spit it out. It’s like it ripped through my heart. Shit, it took a lot for me to feel any emotion about the shit that I’ve been through my whole life, but my nana, that woman was good with words.

  “A’ight, Nana. I hear you,” I said. I was very careful not to let her notice that I had shed a few tears. I loved my nana and didn’t want to disappoint her. She was the only person that I would lie to so I can protect her feelings.

  “Mi wan’ yuh fi do more dan feel mi. Mi nuh ’ave long pon dis earth, but before mi go, mi wan’ yuh and yuh madda fi mend tings.”

  See, my nana killed me with this righteous talking. She has been yelling that she was dying since I was a yute. And the funny part is, she actually believed this.

  “Nana, yuh kno’ mi nuh like when you talk like dat. Yuh nah go no wey.”

  My phone started to beep.

  “All right, Nana. I got to go. I love you,” I said, before hanging up on her ass.

  * * *

  Some of the best news I had gotten in weeks was when the realtor called me to do the paperwork on the crib. The shit was nice and suitable for a smooth nigga like me. I paid her a hundred and twenty-five grand, and I threw her ten stacks on the side. When it was all said and done, she handed me my keys.

  “Aye, you know I need a woman to add her touch to it.” I winked at her.

  “Hmm, those hoes are lined up. You better start looking.” She walked off on me.

  Damn! That ass phat as fuck, I thought as she drove off.

  Days later, I found me a professional decorator. I didn’t have the time, and I didn’t know anything ’bout fixing the condo up. I ordered furniture, and she put her feminine touch to it. I was proud when she was done. Before you knew it, everything was settled. I even brought this bitch home from Atlanta. We fucked all night from downstairs to upstairs. Talk ’bout breaking the house in. We did just that.

  * * *

  I drove to my Mom-duke’s job and saw her truck, so I knew she was at work. I then headed to her crib so I could grab my clothes. As I pulled up, I took a long breath and rang the doorbell.

  “Who is it?” my nana asked.

  “It’s Azir, Nana.”

  “Oh, baby. I didn’t know you was stopping by.” She reached out and hugged me tightly. One thing about Nana, she was very affectionate when it comes down to me.

  “Mi just wan’ grab mi stuff dem before yuh daughter get home.”

  “Well, come on, and do you mean your mother? Azir, I know it’s rough on both of y’all, but Sierra love you. I really think y’all need to talk.”

  “Nana, mi good still enuh. Mi just wan’ get the clothes.”

  I walked off, leaving her standing in the living room. I grabbed some big black bags from the kitchen and ran up the stairs. I was trying to hurry, ’cause the last thing I needed was Mom-dukes popping up. I didn’t feel like seeing her or having to go through some argument shit right now.

  “A’ight, Nana. Mi ’ave e’erythin’. I love you.”

  She grabbed my shoulder and stopped me. “You know we love you, and this will always be your home. Please call me so that I can know you okay. Azir, I love you,” she said with tears rolling down her face.

  “Love you too, Nana.”

  I hugged her, then left. I just needed to go . . .

  * * *

  I breezed through the trap to holla at my partnas. Ever since I got the crib, I’ve been relaxing a little. I was enjoying the quietness of having my own shit, and, God, it was so good not to hear Mom’s constant bickering.

  “Yo, whaddup, Boss man?”

  “Shit, how the drop went yesterday?”

  “Everything went smooth. Bigga got one of them things.”

  “All right. That’s what’s good.”

  “Yo, brethren, I’m about to make a move. Gwaan hold down di spot fi mi. I’ll hit yuh up lata.”

  I left the trap, jumped in my ride, and drove. I had one destination in mind. I’ve put off handing the situation, but the time was now to get it over with ’cause this bitch keep blowing up my phone, pretending like shit sweet between us.

  I used my burner phone, which was the phone that I used to call my hoes. The bitch picked up on the first ring.

  “Hey, babe,” this snake-ass bitch answered.

  “Hey, love, I’m coming through to see my favorite lady,” I said.

  “It’s ’bout time. Can’t wait to see you, daddy.”

  “I bet you can’t, baby girl,” I laughed.

  I got to the crib in no time. She opened the door fast as hell. She went to hug me, and I backed up. I pulled my gun and pointed it at her.

  “Babe, what ar
e you doing?” she looked puzzled.

  “Bitch, shut up and sit down. Don’t let me hurt you for real. A’ight, now, this where we at. The last time I was over here, you set me up to get robbed. At first, I couldn’t believe a bitch that I cared for would actually fuck me over like that. But as much as I want to believe different, shit is right in front of me. The way the nigga walked up on me let me know that. Somebody let him know I was comin’ out and to top it off, I seen you lookin’ out the motherfuckin’ window when I pulled off.”

  “Azir, I swear, I didn’t know you got robbed. I swear to you. I would never do that to you.”

  “Bitch, shut up! What the fuck that nigga gave you for settin’ me up?”

  “Azir, oh my God. You wrong. I love you too much. I would never do that,” she cried.

  “Listen up, you stupid ho, I’m dead-ass serious. You tell me the truth, I won’t harm you, but if you keep on lyin’, I’ma blow yo’ bloodclaat head off and keep it moving,” I said through clenched teeth.

  I think she saw the anger in my eyes and knew right then that playtime was over. I lifted my gun and aimed it at her dome.

  “Okay, okay, Azir, I’ll tell you everything. Just don’t shoot,” she bawled.

  “A’ight, bitch, you got five minutes to spit it out, and I’ll let you continue breathing.”

  “Killa T and his boys approached me a few months back. They said they had an eye on you and knew that you was the big man. I tried to tell them I didn’t know anything about what you do. He persisted and threatened me and my family. Azir, I swear to you, I was scared for my life,” she hollered more.

  I walked over to her and put my arms around her. “Dry your tears, baby girl,” I said as I hugged her.

  “I’m sorry, Azir. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you.”

  “Nah, babe, quit all that crying. If you’re truly sorry, I need you to prove it to me.” I looked her dead in her eyes.

  “Yes! Anything, Azir. I’ll show you how sorry I am.”

  “I need you to stop crying first.” I wiped her tears before I continued.

  “This what I need you to do. Call this nigga and tell him you got some more info ’bout how he can get some more money. Tell him you need to talk to him in person.”